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Thursday, January 22, 2009

It's Official !!

With ramifications as diverse as a mad scramble for dwindling "high profile" jobs to investigating the Satyam-swindle in fresh perspective researchers have found conclusive proof that
"Wealthy men give women more orgasms."

If scientists from the Newcastle University are to be believed women are hard-wired to be "gold-diggers" making the popular notion of "rich-girl-poor-boy" love-stories one of the most enduring myths in human history. Stumbling upon another detailed analysis of what is known as 'evolutionary psychology' I came across wisdom of the following kind:

" .....for the week or so in each month when women are at their most fertile they are programmed to seek out the men with the “best” genes - the ones most likely to ensure their children survive. That means the man with the biggest muscles, the squarest jaw or, nowadays, the biggest bulge in his wallet. Such men are hard to keep so, once impregnated, women may return to their gentler long-term partner and trick him into bringing up a child that is not his." [link to the entire article here]

Feeling pity for the "gentler long-term partner" ? No need to because this is nature's way of keeping everybody happy - The Fruits of Distributive Justice, the scientists would have us believe.

While the coy moralist might find such studies in human nature to be an unwelcome affirmation of plunging social standards the bold ranger will take it as a nod of approval for his more adventurous pursuits. With more such researches yielding 'favorable' results one or more of the following things might get to be a common occurrence in the near future:

1. Along with pleas of insanity and temporary indisposition the pursuit of partner's orgasm might become part of a relevant legal defense in cases of heists, scams and forgeries.

2. Paternity disputes might have to do away with DNA verification lest the entire social set-up plunge into Neanderthal chaos of a promiscuity pandemic.

3. "Identity Crisis" might become the new word for "Bastard".

4. 'Philandering Loans' might get sanctioned by banks to individuals found necessitous by female standards of wealth and prosperity.

5. Our MPs might volunteer their actual assets in carefully arranged press conferences. They might also be tempted to inflate them by a stretch.

6. "I am RICH! Are you GAME?" might become the most fashionable tee-shirt slogan.

7. Our film-stars might stop paying their taxes than waxing their chests.

8. The entire "poor class" might get obliterated from the face of the earth keeping to the 'survival of the fittest' principle.

And that would be one beautiful "climax" for the entire humanity.

But to end it with words of one of the psychologists,

“In some ways it makes us seem almost evil but it’s wrong to impose moral judgments.
There are no morals involved in evolution."

- That makes evolution easy. Doesn't it ?

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