Oye! It's Dryday!

After clamping down on "Western Evils" like Valentine's Day and 'necking in public' [link] the ire of our self-appointed moral guardians has shifted to something which can be, at its euphemistic best, called a fledgling social rot - Women who love their pint. [video link]

If the MNS, Bajrang Dal, RSS, VHP and Shiv Sena were not enough already there has emerged from nowhere a group of Right-Wing (flightless) moralists called Ram Sena, hell bent on reforming our society for us, their way. What is most disconcerting is the support, tacit or otherwise, that these hooligans are garnering from ministers holding public office. Karnataka CM B.S Yediyurappa and Rajasthan CM Ashok Gehlot who represent two of our nation's largest political parties have expressed their disapproval of 'the pub culture' gaining ground in this country. Public outrage and an active media has entailed that ever-invisible tug from their respective high commands in New Delhi and they have more or less disambiguated their previous statements, smoothening the edges to give it all a liberal yet concerned look.
Union Health Minister, Anmubani Ramadoss has chipped in with his comments,

"It is not our culture. If it goes this way, I don't think India will progress". [link]

Though it may strike as startling as to how women pubbing can affect the nations progress we hope the Union Minister has some logical explanation for his sermon.

History shows that any recession is marked by an increase in alcohol consumption in that economy. India is no exception. With newspapers ringing in bad news every morning regarding the employment figures around the world plummeting to new lows what can but a commoner, or say a software engineer do? A moment of thought for the Satyam employee and another for the recruited fresher biding his time in seclusion, waiting for that elusive DoJ ( 'Date of Joining' for the uninitiated).
The positives of spirit-induced-forgetfulness -
1. A restless youth kept reigned in the confines of a pub, voluntarily.
2. The exponential growth of the liquor industry.
3. A happy Vijay Mallya - meaning more colorful calendars.
4. More time to reflect upon the futility of material pursuits and hence renunciation.
5. A profusion of Devdases, born of diverse reasons - not necessarily Paros & Chandramukhis. - Better material for Bhansali and Co. to build their films on. Realistic ones at that.
6. A spirited nation looking at a better tomorrow. Sloshed.

So we look forward to a pubbing.. errr... throbbing nation.


P.S - About women's rights and their pursuit of pegs - I will write another day. Surely.
Till then, Hic!

Oh! What Relief!

Now that the Pakistani playboy turned President has given us his word of assurance that- "India wont be nuked first" [link here] we can all go to our beds a lot relaxed it seems.

One gathers that he addressed the Hindustan Times Leadership Summit via a satellite link. Couldn't they have thought of Mr. Obama joining in too ? The whole hi-tech teleconferencing thing would have suited his stature much better. Or was he too busy constituting his economic advisory board and thus decided to leave the Summit briefing to his "trusted ally" in Pakistan on his behalf?

Talking on use of nuclear-weapons Mr. Zardari said, "We do not hope to even get to that position when we have to use." Use what, Sir ? Euphemisms or bombs ?

Rediff.com says :

Seeking to reach out to people across the border, he recalled his late wife Benazir Bhutto's lines -- "There is little of Indian in every Pakistani and a little of Pakistani in every Indian"

- Reeks of bhaaicharaa, one may say, but, I doubt if the thought of replacing Indians with Americans did not cross his mind while meeting one Mrs Sarah Palin a few weeks back.


Remembering his late wife, he said: "Spiritually, I feel her to be around all the time".

- Well, we now know what kept him restricted to just a hand-shake instead of the ambitious "hug" then. A 'spiritual' snub would have been something of an embarassment, I am sure.

The affable President also seemed to have talked of something of a "hands-off" policy regarding the ongoing Kashmir Elections now that all the passes in the valley are blocked to terror-export due to heavy snow-fall. And I am waiting for our media to laud this significant "thaw" in relations tomorrow morning. "We all are waiting for a thaw", Mr. Zardari must be thinking smugly.

Commenting on the present economic crisis, Zardari seems to have mooted the idea of building an "economic block" with India vis a vis the European Union.

- That makes us curious of what he is smoking these days - Subsidised marijuana from his Taliban neighbours ? Or opium imported from the neighbouring noodle-land ?
Also a relevant question in this regard would be - If and when this "economic block" pipe-dream sediments into something of a cobbled reality would it be enough if the usual "5%" is handed down to him ? Or has inflation had its effect on it too ?



link: rediff.com

photo: theage.com

The Case of a Curious Couple

While it was raining heavily and I was struggling to hold onto the plastic that covers the side of the auto rickshaw a newly wed couple came and boarded the same. Both of them looking every bit the ideal cast for the Bangoma-Bangomi couple that fairy tales have so vividly etched into our minds from our childhood days, they were panting with the exertion that the sudden downpour had inflicted upon them. The wife took the side seat at the rear and the husband the seat besides the driver in the front. What ensued was a fascinating conversation between them that I couldn't help laughing out to. Here is the transcript, albeit in Bengali, and intentionally kept untranslated to keep the essence unaltered :


Wife : (reasonably drenched) Acchha tomar pishi amake tar bou-er theke niye ekta notun saree porte debe to ?


Husband : (emphatically) Ekdom na!


Wife : tomar ki confidence!


Husband : boroncho boltey paare, ei durjoger diney naa aslei to hoto.


Wife : tomaari to pishi. bolbei to! (mischievous smile on her lips)


(after a deliberative pause) tomaake ei punjabitaay puro bangla cinema-r dushtu jomidaar-er moto laagchhey.


Husband: (to the auto-driver without paying heed to the aforesaid pseudo-compliment) achha amaderke nemey kotota haat-tey hobe ?


Autowallah: ei dhorun 4-5 minute.


Wife : ami kintu oto haat-tey paarbo na. ekta rickshaw koro. ( she was right considering the sheer workload that she would have to undertake on a walking expedition)


Autowallah: (with a sigh of understandable relief as the couple unboarded) koto dhoroner lok hoy sottyi.