Shoe -Shoo !!

While IT major Infosys predicts a drop in profits for the coming year the shoe-barons were last heard to be laughing their way to the banks.

Reason : People are flocking to their outlets, seeking the latest in "deep-impact" sneakers and aerodynamically designed chappals to greet their netas with, first thing in the morning. Brands like 'Sree-leaders' and 'Hurl-puppies' are turning out to be the biggest gainers in this segment while activists under the banner of "Nanga-Payr Susth Prashashan Manch" get more vocal with popular backing burgeoning.

Effect : More and more small-time netas are being accused of clandestinely distributing cheap sandals to their supporters before the start of rallies where they are being instructed to hit the podium from various angles and at equal intervals between their "hate speeches"- readily transforming them to "hit speeches" - getting day-long TV coverage and political mileage for free. The add-on includes being catapulted to the status of figures like George Bush, Ahmadinejad, Wen Jiabao and now L.K Advani with a single sling of footwear. Speculations are rife within political circles that the leader with the most number "hits" at the end of the campaigning might stake his/her claim to the PM's post on the basis of popularity. Amar Singh has stoked fears with his,"Negative publicity is also publicity" remark in the mould of the redoubtable Rakhi Sawant and the ever "resourceful" Mallika Sherawat. The Congress is agitated now that the BJP seems determined to field Narendra Modi from at least 10 Muslim-dominated Lok Sabha constituencies following recent developments. Their possible ploy of fielding both Sajjan Kumar and Jagdish Tytler from Punjab is being hailed as a masterful counter-move by supporters and detractors alike. On the other hand the CPI(M) politburo has expressed concern that several of the Trinamool MLAs were spotted in queues outside prominent shoe-stores at Lindsay Street in Kolkata. The Speaker of the West Bengal Assembly has promptly issued a directive to all members of the House - "to be divested of all footwear and other associated instruments of protest before entering the Assembly Hall" to which Mamata Banerjee has responded with her characteristic ferocity. The TMC plans to launch its "Khali Paaye Khali Gaaye Andolon" (Naked Feet Naked Torso Agitation) for an indefinite period of time before the directive is revoked and fair chance is given to all MLAs in taking aim at their opposite numbers inside the Assembly. A petition bearing the signature of 60 MLAs has already been forwarded to the Governor in this regard.

Side-effects : The Election Commission is contemplating a blanket-ban on shoes during elections.
Anbumani Ramadoss has promised to ban shoes if he is returned to the Lok Sabha.

Nike and Adidas has cut-down prices drastically to come "within reach" of the common man.

The family members of Partha Pratim Ray Burman are having sleepless nights now that their stocks have started to go through the roof and the Dubai-bhais have all started calling again.

Late Night Calls

Launching a blistering attack which might leave The Bad P ( i.e. Pramod Muthalik as against the good P i.e. our own Pronob babu) quaking in his dhotis Renuka Chowdhury has questioned the kind of upbringing he might have undergone as a child. Applying Freudian deductions and Jungian principles of psychoanalysis she has successfully come to the conclusion that Muthalik's early childhood was deeply influenced by females who believed in "All hail the male!" rather than the then-dubious-now-ubiquitous slogan of "Why should boys have all the fun?". Still the very little gaps that her theory suffers from she intends to eliminate by arranging a tête-à-tête with the saffron stal-wart's mother.

"We'll have to ask her where he gets his attitude", she says.

We wish her all the luck with the interview.


In other news, a L.K Advani comment has just erupted onto the scene which should bring more cheer to the healing hearts at 7, Race Course Road than the sagging shoulders at 11, Ashok Road.
In his characteristic manner, that of a practiced raconteur, Advani has compared Narendra Modi to Atal Bihari Vajpayee. As if the old man was not suffering enough already, Advani had to compare the great statesman to someone who is not even a whimpering apology for Atalji's political acumen, stature, charisma and presence. And to be reminded that both of them made for the Krishna-Sudama of Indian politics till a few years back. Some lasting ties of friendship there, Mr. Advani! Some glowing tributes! Jai ho!

Has political expediency got the better of a respected leader like him or has the corporate coterie finally had its way, one wonders. The investments, both domestic and foreign, which are pouring into Gujarat cannot hide the hideous past of hate and divisive politics that thrived under the garb of "good governance". If Mr. Advani is still calling the shots from the helm he needs to keep track of the past and chalk maps for the future keeping in mind the larger picture rather than playing to the Hindutva gallery. A Vibrant Gujarat under Modi is as much a palpable reality as was Uttam Pradesh under Mulayam Singh Yadav and the day Modi is put in charge of the nation would indeed be a sad day for our democracy.

- For some things are better not forgotten and some people better not compared.

Going the Modi Way

As the run-up to the Gujarat election treats the avid onlooker to myriad antics that politics in India so regularly has to offer, the perceptive cannot help but voice concern over the recent incidents.

The raging debate over the incendiary speech that Narendra Modi gave the other day at an election rally in Gujarat has made it to the headlines the nation over. The political motive to polarize the electorate on the basis of faith is blatantly naked and compellingly unacceptable. There can never be enough justification for a Chief Minister of a state baying for the blood of ‘terrorists’, the allusion being too transparent to be deciphered with any difficulty. That the speech was a fitting reply to the Congress President’s ‘merchant of death’ remark wouldn’t even fool a schoolboy in Surat. But then, this isn’t about political affiliations (I assure that I have none. I only side with the ‘relative right’, though I admit that it is becoming increasingly difficult to find even marginal sanity in the present political spectrum). It is about reviewing the direction in which Gujarat is headed. It is about posing questions about the political expediency of a communal riot. It is about asking the average Gujarati what he/she wants. And for how long.

One can understand the atmosphere of insecurity and fear in which the previous Assembly election in Gujarat was held. It was within a year from the riots that had devastated the state and the air was thick with tension like never before. It was apparent from the landslide victory of the BJP that the communally charged propaganda had reaped rich dividends. But, four years is a lot of time. Things have moved, if not at a brisk pace, and living in the past is a fruitless exercise that no sensible Gujarati would approve of. The ‘healing touch’ has not been provided to the Muslims in Gujarat and understandably so. In an age of political opportunism where mass-sentiments are stoked for bagging electoral benefits, if the continued vilification of an 11% minority can churn out victory after victory in elections let it be so. No pangs of morality (whoever said that of politicians!). No bouts of compunction.

Milking religious sentiments for staying in power suffers from ‘the laws of diminishing returns’ though, and it might manifest its most unpleasant facets to the saffron brigade not before long. The BJP might win this election in Gujarat on the ‘Religion’ poll-plank but it might have few takers at the national level, where functional coalitions have become an accepted reality. The NDA- already a shrinking pool of regional parties might collapse if the shutters of the ‘Hindutva’ laboratory are not pulled down fast in Gujarat. Fully aware of its political compulsions, the BJP keeps pursuing its old trusted ‘ideals’ out of utter desperation and strategic vacuum. Its emphasis on a Modi-centric campaign, disregarding dissension within the ranks only attests to that helplessness. But, thinking apolitically, I wonder how the Gandhinagar textile merchant would vote this time around. Whom the Saurasthra farmer will settle for. Which way the Surat-diamond merchants would sway.

All these people who do a service to the Commerce of this nation every single day by being devoted to their enterprise; will they realize how they are being made to applaud the Emperor’s clothes of ‘Muslim extremism’ for too long. Will they wake up to the fact that for one Muslim terrorist there is also a thousand hard-working people of his creed who share nothing with the former except their prayer timings? Will they realize that it is only ignorance, poverty and misinformation that barricades the members of the ‘other faith’ and impedes their path to a better life?

A sensitive revision of the situation is the need of the hour in Gujarat.

It is the responsibility of every Gujarati to issue a timely reminder to all political parties that they cannot be misled into believing in ghosts of the past forever. Being the harbingers of progress that they are, one can bank on their sound judgment.

In matters of trade.

In matters of life.

Photo: Courtesy: Yahoo.com